The D.I.Y DECISION

This is me. Just like my photography. Just like my writing. Just like anything I create and decide to share with you, hell, even the things I don’t share. I’m repeating this till it annoys you and stays embedded in your brain. Its me.

The D.I.Y decision was a necessary decision and a very important one at that. It was a decision and particular tactic I created for myself during my time studying photography in England, not just for other people, but to understand what kind of a photographer I am, and in turn, the kind of person I am and want to be. Check out what I wrote at the time to explain my thoughts behind the decision:

Insecurity as a label has taken over..well...everything. And it is as hard as it can be for anyone to go up to the world and say “hey, check out what I'm insecure about!”.

That being said, I did it anyway. One of my biggest insecurities is my body dysmorphia, and what a hypocrite I would be if I went up to my Models and said “come on, you can do this, you’re stronger than ever!” and then I try it myself and basically hide into my shell in fear of the same thing. So the DIY decision is me saying to my models and audience that I know, to a certain extent at the least, how it feels to be in front of the camera. As I mentioned before, I had experience in front of the camera before becoming a photographer. As a matter of fact it's one of the reasons I became a photographer...ironically..i wanted to see the other side! Now that I am a photographer and im putting myself in front of the camera, it's a whole third perspective that I, myself, never thought of. As just a model, you know you’re in front of the camera, but you don’t know much else.

As a photographer infront of the camera, new details like technicalities, lighting, angles, and a whole lot more comes into it. I knew exactly how I could be seen, how angle could change everything, how in detail my camera captures aspects of the subject being photographed. And having been photographing an extensively complicated yet straightforward concept of my own insecurities was supposed to be hard enough...but thats not where my brain went. Its completely right, its my insecurities, its scarier as a phototgrapher too...but how about I just go ahead and use that to my advantage instead? I know what's its happening, I know how to bring the message across, its not harder or easier, it’s me realising that I can use all my decisions for the better So yes, The photographer does need to see the other side, at least I did. It made me a better version of what I already was, and I didn't come all this way to stop here, I worked this hard to keep going.

Here’s what I wrote for the actual project:

If you look into my first sketchbook, you see something related to my projects called “The Other Side.” The DIY Decision takes the thought process of that concept and applies it to photographers, along with my project “Indirect”. Before getting into photography, I had a few experiences with personal modeling, so I did see the other side. But seeing the other side of a camera AS as a photographer is an entirely different thing, and I took the shot, and all i had to do was turn the camera around. Having studied photography for as long as I have, I now look at almost everything from that view…

“The lighting in this scene is majestic”...

“The angle for this shot could've been better”

It's insane!

Now, when it comes to my project, as I've progressed from figuring out my intentions to going into in depth research, I’ve narrowed the concept of “indirect” to “indirect insecurity”

We’re going to focus on the insecurities of anyone and hopefully, eventually everyone (I'm a little optimistic sometimes…whoops?). Now, a lot of inspiration came from the research I did, and ofcourse, being a human being who has insecurities about myself.

So before doing the photography shoots for my models….I did it myself.

Photographers should take a moment to step away from the viewfinder and see the world through the lens of their subject. Imagine the weight of the camera's gaze, the self-consciousness of being scrutinized. Feel the awkwardness of forced poses, the vulnerability of raw emotions exposed. By experiencing this, photographers develop empathy, understanding the impact their direction and requests have. This newfound perspective fosters a collaborative spirit, where photographer and subject work together to create a comfortable and authentic experience, ultimately leading to more genuine and impactful photographs. Just as the camera captures the essence of a scene, so too can stepping "on the other side" capture the essence of a photographer's art.