Shot and awe | chapter 1 | let me introduce myself

A lot of people show themselves through their work, which is...what i do., but the end result never ends up being what the first intial intention was.

I studied in Krishnamurit's Brockwood Park School in England for a year, learning my fair share of photography. In my class, one of the first things we had to learn, one of the first projects we had to do was a project called "all about me".

Considering we were all new students, and we were starting a new year, The teacher wanted to know more about us, for us to find out more about each other, as well as us finding out more about ourselves through the project, including what kind of photographers we would be, and what kind of photographers we wanted to be.

So we did what we had to do when we started. with the first step being mind maps and mood boards, and anything you can think of creatively that would help you bring your ideas to life and potentially map out a way for you to portray them as a Photographer and everyone started talking about what they liked, whether they like bikes, cars, music, and the kind of food they like, the kind of sports, you could be into, even the kind of adventure sports that you do.

slowly, I realised that the people I keep around me are a great deal important for, not only the kind of photographer I want to but also the kind of person I want to be.

That’s why I decided to take a bunch of different people from school at the time and make it all about them because that is what it means when I think about something that’s related or Consider to be "all about me".

I also thought about it from a matter of perspective, which most artist would agree is fundamentally the base point of how you create whatever you create. As a result of that, I decided that each of my shoots which came up to about 5 or 6 people would have three different Point of views to look from.

The first point of view would be the Photographer.

The photographer would see the scene. The photographer would see The person. the photographer would see exactly what the photographer wants to capture in that moment. And that was me and that’s what I made ,basically, the entire project about. but what I completely focused on, was that there was two other perspectives to look at, well, at least two other perspectives that I wanted to point out through this project.

The second point of view would’ve been the model, the person I was photographing and the moments with them that I was capturing that person would’ve seen me, would’ve seen. The model would see how I was taking the picture, would’ve seen how they would react to how I was prompting them, would realise how they felt in the view of a camera lens. would realise how their feelings changed, whether they felt nervous, whether they felt excited, whether they felt intrigued by what was going on behind the camera because I, myself, knows how that feels. (now that is another story for another time, which I will tell you about at the end of this blog post).

The third point of view which I think is one of the most important is where I brought extra props, and I would say one of the only artificial props that I used in this that happened to be with every shoot of every person, even if the setting was different. I used a mirror as a metaphor for third perspective of a third point of view, representing a third person who would see me and the subject and the setting in place and how we were reacting to each other.

one of the best feelings of taking charge of this shoot and seeing the entire project come to life was seeing each of my models, start slowly interacting with the mirror as if it was a part of them, and they slowly started making me a part of the shoot as well. This is where you could see me through the mirror, I could see them looking at each other, I could see my model looking at their own reflection through the mirror, and I could see the person looking at someone else through the eyes of the mirror, which would reflect that image on.

I also realise that because I made a project like this, which is supposed to be all about me, all about them, I realise a lot of insecurity would come out. a lot of fear, A lot of emotions that would not particularly be considered as positive Come out during the shoot because I told them just to be themselves. and we both know it's not easy just be yourself, especially when you're told to do so.

Let’s be more specific.

before each of these shoots, I talked with each of my models.

Firstly, I asked if they would consider modelling for me, and when they agreed to it, it was followed by a bunch of questions that they had. These were mostly about what they would have to do, and I told them that all they have to do is be themselves, and the only thing they have to think about is a place within our school, which would make them feel like themselves because I needed them to be as natural, as beautifully vulnerable, relaxed and happy as they could possibly become in that particular space with the people that they could add onto the shoot if they wanted to.

my models respectively chose:

the Grove in Brockwood Park, right in the middle of a ton of greenery

the library

a garden outside of the art barn

music studio

my dorm room! (yes, I was Flattered)

Somewhere in the middle of this blog post, I mentioned that there was a story i'd come to later, and and that was related to how I know what it feels to be staring into the barrel of a camera.

Around the age of 17, I had a photoshoot set up for myself before even thinking about the word Photography coming into my life. I decided to be in front of the camera. Show people who I was with regards to all the things I taught myself. whether it was music, whether it was The sports that I did or anything else. And while I was modelling for the same, I realised that it was my first time being in that kind of a spotlight and what terrified me in the best way was not knowing what was happening behind the camera. to not know how I was seen, to realise that the way I was being portrayed was in the hands of another person and that they could control everything from what I was doing. The lighting, the make up, the outfits I was wearing, anything! and that terrified me the best way because if I didn’t feel that, I wouldn’t have asked myself “Hey, what’s happening behind that Camera and how is he doing it?”

And then right, there is one of the first moments where I realise I actually did want to pursue something like Photography, but I didn’t realise it would become such a big part of my life which I think isn’t even better thing because I never had any expectations for myself, I simply just enjoy it And I think a lot of people don’t get to have that feeling in life.

So if that’s not all about me, I don’t know what is,

and this shoot that I did for the "all about me. Project" started bringing out more about the kind of Photographer I want to be, and I realise that one of the main reasons I want to show people what I do. I want to be able to know my models before I work with them. I want to be able to see real people in the world and be able to show them, through my Photography, how I see them, because nothing bad ever came from a new perspective, at least not the way I see the people I shoot. I tend to see the beauty and the good in people that they don’t see themselves, and I think gatekeeping that wouldn’t be doing anyone Any good.

So maybe it’s all about me... or is it all about us? or is it all about them... as I’m asking all of these questions, I realise none of that matters as long as you simply enjoy what you’re doing.

And if you actually want to see how that turned out...it's on my portfolio page :))

Here’s the link! https://www.theamenezes.com/portfolio-collections/my-portfolio/all-about-me

And cheers to being captured at ease! 🍻❤️ Thea :) x <3